Astute (or extremely activity-challenged) readers will remember I watched 1973’s Westworld again back in July. This evening I saw its later (and lamer) sequel, Futureworld, circa 1976.

So – before I ‘review’ this movie I’m just going to say – I’m not worried about any of you going to rent it (turns out even the Mecca of Movies only had it on VHS) so all plot points (as may exist – and there aren’t many) will be spoiled herein.

So – basically fast forward several years from the events in Westworld – Delos has been rebuilt, bigger and better than ever. Now they have Roman World, Medieval World, Spa World and FutureWorld – no more WestWorld – although they visit its remains in this movie. Given the tragedy of before, Delos needs better PR to encourage people to come back, so they enlist a TV reporter (Blythe Danner) and the newspaper reporter who broke the story the first time around (Peter Fonda). But prior to heading out to Delos, Peter Fonda gets a clue from an informant (who is killed just before PF meets him to discuss the scoop) that something is still very ‘wrong’ at Delos this time around, too.

So they go there, and far too much time is taken up showing all the high-tech stuff, people walking here, people walking there, and there are two bit-characters (a Russian General + wife, and a famous Japanese person, probably a politician) who get some minor screen time. Very little of this advances the plot, save some (seemingly) random sequences showing people very interested in computer recordings and simulations of the main four characters.

It develops that Delos is making (effectively – they don’t name it directly) clones of world leaders and politicians because they don’t trust humans to keep from blowing themselves up. The visitors come to Delos, and the clones are sent out into the world to replace them, under Delos’ control. The movie never says if the robots hatched this plot on their own (one of the major Delos characters, Duffy, turns out to be one) or if they have mad-scientist backers (it is never revealed whether Dr. Schneider is human, robot, or something else) working with them.

At any rate, PF and BD find a (still-human) mechanic named Harry who helps them discover the truth, and then there is more running around with guns until the end, where they both escape Delos and (presumably) tell the world. Yul Brynner is wasted in a weird dream sequence with BD as a fantasy lover – I’m sure I was impressed by this back in 1976 (as a nine-year old) but it’s pretty silly now.

So….without dwelling on what the movie does wrong (mostly far too much tedium in advancing the meager plot) – i’d rather mention a few things that could have made it MUCH more interesting by contrast.

1) Futureworld never explains how the robots figured out how humans always want to destroy themselves (and thus hatched a plot to stop it and save themselves from our stupidity). By way of comparison, the recent BSG remake trickled this info out over the entire length of the series – of course to keep you coming back until the end, but partially because it kept you guessing and interested and inventing your own ideas about where the plot was going, then to watch it and confirm (or see where they went instead).

It might have been very interesting to see the ‘between’ story explained in more detail with more motives and the ‘how’. FW talks about the ‘700 series’ robots as being far more advanced than those in the prior movie/robot generation, but it’s only a few lines of spoken dialog at best and nothing beyond that.

2) Just like in the previous movie, the big ‘seller’ behind the concept of Delos is ‘sex with robots’ – but at $1200/day – would that really do it? And I would think more stuff (even Disneyland has Pirates of the Caribbean, and The Haunted Mansion) than just the Middle Ages or Roman times would be required to get people there (the lack of showers and actual cooking comes to mind, but I digress :)). Westworld itself might have had some attraction, I agree – but even in 1976 I’d think more would be needed (and Disney had both POTC and THM back THEN, too).

3) It would have been interesting also to see robots who didn’t ‘agree’ with the crazy clone strategy to take over the world, and if they helped PF and BD succeed to blow the story open. Here, BSG did this in various ways and various characters – creating a mosaic of character motives (if done well) can really serve to spice things up, no?

4) finally – what if Delos had actually ‘won’? What if they largely succeeded and THEN a reporter came back say, 20-30 years in the future and found out what had happened? And here comes the broken record, because now that I think of it (literally) BSG did this too – in a way – with the whole idea of Cylons being all-but human in appearance, etc. But they limited its scope by keeping it a limited number of models – in FW’s case, it might have been *many* world leaders over time – what if the clones ushered in a time of peace and world achievement, and then we found out we had all been tricked for 20-30 years? What then? I can’t help thinking of Kent Brockman saying “And I, for one, welcome our new ant overlords” with the paper sign on the wall behind him – too funny.

Anyway, if you find the book of this movie on a seedy bookshelf somewhere, and you are killing time on the beach, read it. Otherwise, just rent BSG and get the same thing only done far, far better. They should have quit while they were ahead with Westworld.

candybowl